They are trying so hard not to be evil.
They never were even accepted into the Axis of Evilâ„¢. Perhaps it is because they don’t have any weapons of mass destruction. Perhaps it is because they are always disgusted by acts of terrorism instead of supporting them. Oh, and they never received an application form, not that they would have filled it out.
They have even tried the evil patch. OK, they were going to try it, but it looks too much like a pirate eye patch, and they don’t like parrots that much.
But that’s not the important thing. They are just like you, except for your deepest, darkest secrets. They do not have secrets anymore. Not that they ever really did…